Posts

Bottled Up

 It isn't that I don't want to share my feelings. It's just that I don't see how it is going to help. I am tired of feeling like a doormat. For all I know, I might be overreacting. Time and again, I tell myself that this too shall pass. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. I feel a sense of frustration and I want to vent it out in a physical manner. Sports would have been a natural outlet. I don't do sports anymore.  I am tired of my lifestyle. My work. My surroundings. It's only the kids who keep me going. I am tired of all the drama at work. And on personal front, there was little drama until today. But today was bad. I even contemplated if my death would make matters better. I concluded that it wouldn't.  What's going on with me? I don't have a social circle. I am paranoid of speaking to my folks. I don't know what will land me into trouble with Geetha. I am not in touch with my friends. Because everyone is off doing their own things....
Post a Comment
Read more

Disconnected

The country is going through an unprecedented crisis. It’s there on the TV, in the papers and all around us if we’re ready to drop the veil and look. Which is why it feels bizarre to be talking about crores of rupees when the system around us is on the verge of collapsing. Frankly, I feel a little disconnected from our prevailing financial situation.  Don’t get me wrong - it worries me. I’m lost in thoughts of how we’re going to repay these vast sums. And I love what I do, I can’t ask for a better half or a better mentor. I have it better than 99% of the people who can’t step out of their house or whose loved ones are struggling to breathe even a fist of fresh air.  But there are several moments when I’m overcome by feelings of helplessness upon reading reports or knowing about acquaintances going through the ordeal. I don’t see how we as a community are going to get out of this monster of a virus without losing someone close. This virus promises to be a great leveller and I ...
Post a Comment
Read more